For the first time in my life this week I shopped online for something other than a book. I saw a pair of fab shoes on a Bingo pal last week and she told me she got them on Amazon. I’m a writer. I live on Amazon, but it never occurred to me to shop for clothes, or jewelry or shoes. Now it does. I’ve had a good week. Actually, I’ve had a good month thus far. I got a nice royalty check, I won two back-to-back jackpots at Bingo, everybody I know is alive and well and my latest book is on my editor’s desk getting its last soft edit and final proof. Here’s the snag. My writing cave needs a good cleaning. My desk is a wreck. But I’m superstitious. I don’t clean it or move a single piece of paper or note or list of words or character outlines or bits of dialogue or my dictionaries until the finished book is published. So! I need something else to clean.
I don’t know about you, but I can live with dust bunnies hugging my ankles. I easily ignore the ironing board that has been up in the kitchen for a month. I was gonna put it away but the cats love it. So I left it up. All of the empty boxes my Amazon goodies came in are lined up on the thing and the cats are using them for safe harbor. It is bad luck to sit on a bed after it’s made, so I don’t make it up anymore. Hey! I’m on winning streak at Bingo, I’m not touching the thing. I can live with it. But what I cannot live with is a dirty, disorganized fridge. Not dirt, dirt, but you know what I’m talking about–those five bing cherries I was gonna pit and put in a salad. Didn’t. The two lettuce leaves I was saving to broil fish on. Forgot about ’em and fried the fish instead. I boiled eggs a few days ago for stuffed eggs. Cooked too many so told my keeper to put the extra eggs in the jar with sweet pickles and I use ’em in a salad later. So he did. He didn’t shell them first. As soon as I learn how to sell stuff on eBay, I’m selling him. I’m starting the auction at a penny. Won’t go over a dime.
Since my kids are grown and gone foods stay in the fridge. I somehow have not been able to make that transition to shop for one or two instead of seven and friends with hollow legs.
I have learned a few tricks. I can make a pint of sour cream last six weeks. After opening, just store the container upside down in the fridge. I have a garden. Did you know you can freeze corn in the shuck and three months later boil it in the shuck? Tastes as if you just harvested it. I tried that with yellow squash. Didn’t work. Bell pepper either. Now this does work: At first frost pull up all of your tomato plants and hang them upside down in a closet or the laundry room. Tomatoes won’t grow
larger, but they won’t rot and will continue to ripen until New Year’s Day. No Lie. Check for tomato worms first, though. If you don’t, the cats will.
Even stranger, when I lived in jungle villages and off islands, I lived, shopped, cooked and ate like the natives. Staples were an 8# bag of rice and coffee. Everything else one bought at a tiny tienda or harvested fresh every day. No fridge. No left overs. No Saran wrap. If you happen to have a banana shrub in your yard, pluck a leaf. There is some kind of chemical in the leaf that retards spoilage. Cut an apple or head of cabbage and put the cut side on the back of side of the leaf. Stays fresh for days.
I don’t know what it is. As soon as I hit stateside… I’m back to living the American way. And here I am with a laundry basket full of foods not fit to eat–never mind the expiration dates. I am so overloaded with guilt. I compost, but I look at the dollar value of the waste. My fridge is sparkling. Now, I have to hit the grocery store. I shop at Kroger. They send me coupons and give me senior citizen’s discount on Kroger brand. That’s nice. Guess what else. Kroger has an author program. Yes, they do. You can take your own Createspace books, do an autographing, they put a little sticker on your book and at the end of the day, add up all of those stickers and give you your $$$. I did a book signing in Publix a couple times when I lived in Florida. I sold books. At K-mart, too. But today, I’m just grocery shopping and on the way home I’m stopping at Taco Bell for take out–cause I’m too tired to cook.
Y’all have a good one.