YES, I’ve read Men are from Mars, Women from Venus
But I don’t live with a Martian, although My Keeper acts like an alien too often. Aliens don’t have ears, do they? You know what I’m talking about. Try explaining something to a man and his expression goes flat~unless he smirks with derision as in ‘I already know that’. This happened: I’ve been ill for a while so I’m not allowed to drive. I asked my Keeper to take me to the UPS Store. He looked it up on Google so tells me he know right where to go. He drives through two shopping centers. We end up at Payless Shoes. No problem, he needs a new pair of sandals. I pull out my lovely new iPhone and ask Siri, ‘how far am I from the nearest UPS Store. Two shopping centers over right behind my bank. Yep. My Keeper wasn’t wrong. Blame Google maps. Bite my tongue!
Another example that men don’t listen: I gave My Keeper a short grocery list. Usually I do pictures so he knows what he’s shopping for. Didn’t this 
time. Big mistake. My List: One package of sliced beef for sandwiches. No ham, I tell him, we have a freezer full of ham. Second item: A 12 ounce package of Marie Callender mac ‘n cheese. Find it in the refrigeration aisle. He calls me from the store. “I’ve got a package of sliced ham and another of olive and cheese ham~or do you want bologna?” Me: “Put that back and move to the left. See it? Sliced Roast Beef.”
Now to mac ‘n cheese. He calls me again. “They don’t have Marie Callender mac ‘n cheese.” Me: Who did you ask? “Well, the guy stocking the coolers. He’s never heard of Marie Callender.” Of course he hasn’t. Marie Callender is in a kitchen, not on the cover of Playboy. So. My Keeper comes home with sliced beef and a package of mac ‘n cheese that will easily feed thirty people. Plus a jar of mayo so huge it won’t fit in my fridge. Mayo was NOT on the list. Yep. I’m gonna learn to shop on line PDQ.
Men ask: What do ya want for your birthday? I once said, ‘flowers’ and got a dying potted plant 
discounted to 59 cents. Shut my mouth. But these things can run into money. My daughter loves machines, especially Bobcats and every attachment such as the hydraulic bucket. She owns so many, Bobcat featured her on the cover of their company magazine and ran a two page article on how she uses the things over her 23 acre mini-farm.
What she wanted for her birthday was a Bobcat 5610 Utility Work Machine with a front mower attachment. She said so loud ‘n clear. What her hubby bought her was a used Porsche convertible. She loathes it. It lives in a shed. Does he give up? Nope. For her birthday this year he took the Porsche to be shrink-wrapped–that new rage~cover a vehicle with vinyl wrap and change the color. Now it’s too nice to live in the shed with daughter’s machines so snagged a slot in the garage. Like any smart woman, she bought her own birthday present~a Bobcat. But the Porsche makes for a nice photo. Which is all it’s good for. We live in Texas. Everybody in our family drives Turbo-charged pick-ups, SUV’s or Jeeps~except me. I’m not allowed to drive anything~not even the ATV’s or Jet skis. The men all own motorcycles, too, and all have wrecked. So now just take pictures with things–a law subtly laid down by their wives, as in, “Before you go for ride please increase your life insurance to five million $$$ so when I’m grieving I can buy a small villa in Italy or the Greek Islands.”
Here’s know-it-all guy as stubborn as they come. But a cute social worker and five orphans figure him out in no time flat. Snap! 99c
Yes, I’m a romance writer as are most of my colleagues and if you’re wondering how this blog connects to writing, I’ll tell you. When writing fiction we can create the fantasy man who does listen. We can write about men who let women finish a sentence. We can create a flawed male character who has more than cheese balls between his ears and still fall in love with him. We can write about men who respect a woman’s intelligence. We can write about men who appreciate women. Of course the men in our lives assure us we are well-loved, well-respected, honored, even–but too few still don’t hear us.
Chosen by Caleb Pirtle III as one of the five books you should read before you die. [Because, his wife, Linda read it, loved it and told him so.] Caleb is a man who listens.
Comments Welcome. Be nice. If you can’t be nice, be articulate. Do! Add to the discussion. If you have a gem of partner who listens~Share. We love good news. If you have a partner who doesn’t listen, we hear you.
P.S. In case you’re interested: Here’s a Double Giveaway with a single click entry. Click HERE to check it out. And Welcome to all new subscribers. Next time we’re giving you a Reader Poll because we DO listen to you! ~ Wishing you all the best life has to offer from Jackie Weger.
My sweetie almost always give me necklaces for my birthday, Mother’s Day, and our anniversary. After 30+ years, I could wear a different necklace every week for three years and still not have worn them all! I even have two that are exactly the same! I guess he really likes that one. I once told him flat out that I needed new earrings since I had lost one. Miracles happen…he got me earrings for our anniversary…along with the matching necklace!
Hello, Melanie. Laughing! When a man hits on something and gets a rave, he’ll keep on giving same thing until the sun burns out. Adding, matching earring and necklace is much nicer than a dying flower.
Nice to hear from you again. xoxox Jackie
They’re like cats: It worked the first time.
LOL!
Hey, Jackie – you’ve got one of those too! Join the sisterhood. Enjoyed your examples. 🙂
Bronwyn: I have the feeling every woman in the universe could offer a dozen examples. Makes me think Fate played a trick on us and our guys are clones.
So funny and true! You know, that selective hearing guys developed as teenagers…. never really goes away, does it? Just love these anecdotes from your life (good for your daughter! Big trucks are fun). How many times have you heard “You never told me about that?” Maybe Keeper needs an iPhone so you can FaceTime while he’s shopping and gently guide him toward the correct items. Many blessings, Jackie.
Robyn: Not happening. I’m shopping on line at our newest and fanciest H.E. B. and sending Keeper to pick ’em up. No way I’m letting that man inside a store with my $$$. He can do whatever he wants with his own $. I didn’t consider ‘selective hearing.” You nailed it.
Still feisty! That’s the Jackie we know and love. 🙂
Hilarious! Mine comes home with all sorts of things not on the list. Once, he brought home two enormous Savoy cabbages. Why? They were BOGOFs (Buy One Get One Free) I had to give the second to my neighbour, as there are only two in our household and there was enough in one cabbage for a week.
When I go supermarket shopping, I try to get in and out as fast as poss. When Dearly Beloved comes with me, he likes to browse, and he wanders off, like a toddler, so I end up cruising the aisles trying to find him.
On the up-side, he is a wizard with technology.
Rosie: That’s the very reason My Keeper came home with a gallon of mayo–he thought it was on sale–NOT. The sale was for the mayo next to it. Lovely saving grace to have a partner with a wizard talent. Mine is so far past his ‘sell-by’ date he’s time-traveled into a past century.
I forgot about that. My Keeper does that, too. We need leashes.
I’m thinking of having him fitted with a bell…
LOL!
So funny!
Love this! I so can relate! [I asked for smoked turkey naturals. We now have 5 (yep, five) packages in the fridge!]
Alexa! I hear you. Same here. I explain/beg, don’t buy something or more than we can use in a month–otherwise we’re shelving a store’s inventory out of our purse.
This is priceless. And why I’m happily divorced. And probably why I kill off male characters in my books all the time… 😀
Julie Frayn
Author of Mazie Baby
Julie Frayn ~ I adore the way Mazie killed off her abusive husband. No fooling around, No Viagra, no penis pumps. Slice and dice and she was done! That girl is Aces up.
We need more courageous women in the world like her. We only have two. Mazie Baby and Lorena Bobbit. When my dad was in hospital to have his toes removed, the surgeon cut off his leg instead. Killed him. Told the Doc he had a lot in common with Lorena Bobbit~they both enjoyed cutting off body parts and as soon as I got my dad buried, I was getting him a blind date with Lorena. All of the interns with the surgeon on his rounds collapsed in snickers.
hahaha… Mazie doesn’t mess around! But I could never do that in real life, which is why I love fiction. That story about your dad is both heartbreaking, and hilarious. You could write a memoir, Jackie!
So funny! And you’re making me hungry :))
Oh, I have created MANY a fantasy man in my books. LOL Keep crackin’ that whip, Jackie!
What did they do before cell phones? (I do remember the days when I never sent my husband to the supermarket. Now the rule is if he buys something I don’t like or didn’t want, he gets to eat it. Thanks for the laugh, Jackie.
You nailed it ! Or the , has gone to the same store for 17
years and still cannot find things !!! Who thinks you make
up items to make him crazy . Am also ill and my keeper
shops for me .. but it got so bad I had to take my
ill self to the store to shop .. then I went a step
farther left my keeper , live alone and still make him
run errands !! Best story I read all week .. thank you
Cheryl Nichols! Smart you. I am so not married to My Keeper. He has one end of the house and I have the other. But! He gets to clean the who thing inside and out. I’m next gonna learn to shop on line. He can do the pick up. Done.
Loved this, and I think every married woman could add to your tales.
The grocery store? Why buy one of anything if you can get three in your hands while juggling the 2 boxes of cereal and 4 cans of soup while on your way back to the grocery cart? We go shopping together but I don’t relinquish the cart! Sometimes thing have to disappear from the cart while he is off on another quest! (He never goes up and down the aisle with me!) When I send him alone with a specific list, there will be at least 2 calls to clarify (5 pounds white flour-how hard is that?) and 7-10 items not on the list that he thinks we need or he just wanted. (Open cupboard to show him 5 other cans of black olives…)
Don’t even get me started about his gift giving!?
OMGGGG,thought I was the only one with husband like that…tks no one likes to suffer alone. But, got to keep him for all electronic problems and terrific at fixin things….Keep up your good works, love it susie
Ha! You sure have a way with words, Jackie. Probably why I love reading your books so much 🙂
About men…yeah, you pretty much covered it LOL!!
I think I just stepped into an alien environment. But not for the same reason. LOL! Your husband must be having you on. Maybe in an attempt to get out of future chores. None of those things you asked him to do require even a modicum of effort or intelligence. Are you sure he understands English?